Self-confidence has been my biggest overcoming achievement that I am still perfecting til this day. When I was little I used to be called ugly and picked on.I was never told that I was beautiful by my parents, at least not often. When I was in High school when,I got my first boyfriend, and we broke up on christmas eve, he ended up going out with a the girl that was two years younger then me, since then it was like maybe I wasn’t pretty enough. I was never the “it”girl. I always did things to make people like me, never knowing if they were really my friends. When I got into the 8th-9th grade I got into this phase,where I would cut my wrist,and strave myself because I just felt really ugly and useless. My self-esteem was very low. My mom and I were nowhere as close as we are now,but it got to a point where my mom was going to give me to DHS because she did not want me anymore. I always thought that having a boyfriend would give me joy,and happiness,little did I know that I had to find that inside myself. I have lost friends that I have given my last to, I have been made out to be a toxic and destructive person because I was trying to protect someone I cared about dearly . I have been bullied so much,that it made me feel like I was a pointless air of life. I ment a beautiful person,who understood that I wasn’t all the way together,but that with the right guidence and love I’d become a better person.
Self-confidence has always been my weakness,because I always placed others first, and when they got mad, I’d stress myself out because I wanted to keep them happy that I was loosing myself. There will come a point where you will have to choose Yourself or unhappiness,and speaking from experince,when you choose others over you it never turns out good. I learned that the first time around. When things are not okay for you,God gives us warning signs,or you get those signs ..that make you realized that there is Danger in the midst LISTEN! I promise that it will save you tears and disappointment.
I have been doing very well with self love, I often get teased because I take tons of selfies. I am a very humble person, when people tell me I’m beautiful I tend to come off uneasy, I am so used to not hearing it that.. its does not phase me. I have been called ugly my entire life, and when someone did call me beautiful, it was for their own personal gain, just to get what they wanted and leave. I struggle with understanding why I have been single for so long, yes my ways of doing things does not always make sense to others, but my intentions are never bad. I got into make up and hair to change the way I looked or to hide the real me. Often when you hear about make-up people say ” You can transfrom yourself into anyone you want to be with make-up and clothes”. I felt like make up made me look better, and a different person. I dyed my hair since I was 13, because I wanted people to like me so bad. I am now 25 and I’ve come to realize that life is too short to be something you are not. Love yourself first, because that is all you have in the end. If you want to dye your hair, do it for youself. Loose weight because you want to feel beauiful to do so, not because someone makes you feel ugly! Love your outside as much as your inside.
I hope that I uplifted someone who is reading this or if you know someon who is struggling with Self confidence please don’t hesitate them to my blog ! My goal is to empower and make new friends! Women need to be more kind to each other and not easily degrading each other.
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until next time