FindACure:Oct17th-Oct23

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FIND A CURE

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October has many great Awareness that are important , and no cancer of any kind is good! Week three of the #Nycpaswackyspreads is ThinkPink in honor of Breastcancer.  So many women don’t even know the risk they have . Cancer sees no color nor age and it’s just a terrible thing in this life . I am not a big pink person but in October it’s the only time I wear pink.  I  placed these two themes in my Happy Planner 

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MAMBI HAPPY PLANNER

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imageDollar Tree

image  Hallmark

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imageSweet Little Panda Designs

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When the week started

When the week came to an end 

June 2016 Recap

 

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The word Summer written on a sandy beach, with scuba mask, beach towel, starfish and flip flops (studio shot – warm color and directional light are intentional).

* It is crazy how there is only 6 months of 2016 left!It is very scary how fast life truly passes by. June has been a emotional Rollercoaster if I may say myself.  Highs and lows just like every other month, but this month as been a very challenging one!

Of course the beginning of the month started with mixed feelings and thoughts. I turned 26 on the first, (which honestly caused a wake call) It was not a great year of celebrating my 26 years on this earth ,but I am very grateful for having another day above ground.  The older you get, celebrating your birthday truly just becomes another day.

* A childhood friend  and I made amends to give our friendship one more try , which in my eyes was a blessing and a moment for growth in my eyes. I never thought we were going to be friends again because, how we ended our friendship 5-6 years ago.

*Finally took the first step in getting my license(ABOUT TIME!!), downloaded the Driver’s Manual for my state and began to read it. I am currently 3 chapters to finishing it, then I will go take my written test.  I am a little disappointed in myself for not reaching my goal of having it before my birthday, but I’m almost there. Procrastination at its finest..lol..not anymore more.

*I had to make some very hard decisions this month dealing with what is best for my life, growth and health. Removing people that would rather complain and be misunderstanding to my ways of making important changes for my life.  Standing up for my own right to life, even if it met other being mad for the choices

*Cupid has placed me in an awkward situation when he hit me with that stupid arrow! Dealing emotions, and distracting moves that make no sense at this time.

*Mxdbreedgraphix has become a hot commodity, which is a blessing as well as creating another level of growth in myself. I became apart of a Full Fledge Entertainment which, I am very honored , and blessed about being apart of this organization. It has been  very challenging for me ,due to the fact that I am working with different personalities. I have been filled with joy and happiness that I get the chance to show my talent, I know God is putting me in this place to see if I am truly ready to take this one full time!

As the month is rapidly coming to an end, and looking back at it, I am not in a rush to make major moves that can affect and set me back.

 

Birthday Recap! 6/1/16

Wednesday was my 26th birthday and it started very confusing in some ways. I got to eat breakfast with my mom which is always a highlight of my day. We ate at Ihop, which we do not really care for but, Jimmy’s Egg was full.  My  Cheesecake pancakes were not done all the way. Then we went to pay bills and then to Hobby Lobby, JoAnns and  Walgreens. I did not get much but that was okay. I was grateful for those who remembered and made me feel special, kind of sad for those who should have remembered and did not. Had Dinner with my Dad, Sister-in-law and Mom at Texas Roadhouse. Which my Dinner was decent but was not all that great.DSCN0388.JPG

All my awesome gifts 🙂 That I have received on my Birthday.

 

BeYouTiful:Your Inner Gemstone

 

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Favorite Gem: PEARL
Reason: it’s a gem that is often over looked and unappreciated. It takes years for a pearl to form into something beautiful and ready for its place in the jewelry world. It’s imperfections are beautiful even if it’s flawed more then a Diamond. I believe that I am more inspired by a lifetime of a Pearl because it hits close to home. A pearl is rubbed and irritated but everything around it until it is ready. I am pretty damn confident of myself now then I was a few years ago. I still have a lot of flaws that need major work.. But the person I’m ment to be I will be no matter what. Pearls are beautiful in their own way with all their imperfections as I am . It’s my birthstone as well. You have the diamonds doesn’t mean my worth went down.. Just means I rather not over shine when I have a simple classy way of living a life I love smile emoticon ‪#‎pearls‬ ‪#‎teal‬ ‪#‎black‬‪#‎selflove‬ #5716 ‪#‎mxdbreed‬

BeYouTiful:Self Reflection

Hey! Back with another BeYouTiful post! as you can see on the titles what this post is about! It picked the best day to finally sit down andtalk about it. This post was suppose to be up like a week ago but alot have been going on! so lets get into it!

Have you ever did something in life, that maybe made you feel like you should not have done it? How did you handle it?  I beleive this is a common thing we do as people. I am very certain that as a woman I tend to always self reflect more at night. which is sometimes not a very good thing because, my brain goes in to ticking mode.. and I will be up all night trying to figure out why i did something. or why I did this instead of that.  Self reflection is a good thing that many of us should do, but do it in a self evaluation progress instead of a negative way, which comes hard sometimes.  Sometimes after a dispute between a love one, or a loss of someone, our first reaction is, “What did I do for this not to work? or Why did God take my Grandmother and not me”,  I  tend to do this all the time still and not so much to beat myself up, but every situation I have been through I end up learning and changing as a person.

I have recently been in a  situation where I was so upset where I was thinking I was a terrible friend, and companion because it was always an argument or dispute, when I spoke up about what I did not appreicate, and the negative outlook that I had on it was making me pick myself apart. You can not look at it that way, do not give yourself the entire fault of something failing. You take responsiblity for your part, but understand that You are not a horrible person, you have to know your self worth, Never allow someone to degrade or decrease your value because they are upset.

It took me a long time and im still working on that way i self reflect myself because, I have always been a person who cares for others feelings before mine.. and it drove me INSANE! When things went wrong I always blamed myself and would revaluate myself in a negative light, to where it would cause me to stress and not enjoy life. That was not fun at all,not was it healthy.  I had to snap myself out of these phases because I would think I was a bad person, or a bad friend, knowing that I always give 100% in everything I do. Self Reflections is great because it allows you to see the changes, and struggles that you overcame. Makes you appreicate everyday that you are no longer in a dark spot in life, that at the time felt like was going to cause your world to stop.

I hope that this piece of BeYouTiful inspired someone or gave you some uplifting motivation. Feel free to comment about how you self reflect or if you have any suggestions on better ways to self reflect in the comment secton of this post!

 

Gemini Intellect : Music Of My Heart

It has been said that Music is the easiest way to express yourself. Which that is very much correct, the connection to a song when it comes on, helps you to understand what it is that your thinking about, or going through. Music can empower you as well as make some emotions more evident then others. There are songs that remind you of a time, person or moment that ment something to you.

Tonight the music has been speaking volumes to my spirit and my memory. Sending me into memory lane, as well as helping me  understand what I am feeling is not in vain. Its been a very crazy ride in this journey called life, and I turn to music, and other creative canvsas to help express my feelings and emotions.

Lazy Loveby Ne-yo ~ currently it doesn’t have a significance to my life at the moment. The story of the song, is pretty much, a man who loves to make love with his partner, and understands that its so amazing and good to where he is late for work. I would love to have a significant other that would stay home and just be intertwined in each other that our love is unbreakable.

Gone and Never Coming Back by Melanie Fiona~ Its always the song that I turn to when it comes to relationships. I’ve been in several Relationships where It was not safe for me to be in, but because I love hard and strong I try my best to make it work. When you always try to make someone understand how much you truly love them and they truly just don’t care and rather be somewhere else. Behing heartbroken from someone that you put time and love into its very hard to overcome but not impossible.

Body On Me by Rita Ora ft. Chris Brown~  This song just reminds me when I first meet someone that I really like and I get that “Highschool crush phase”, where you’re constantly thinking intimate thoughts about them. Realistic thoughts in your mind that seem very vivid and surreal. Especially when your miles apart which does not make the thoughts easier .

Next Time (won’t give my heart away) Keyshia Cole~ another one of those songs that helps a woman just chill, after a break up. I have a bad habit of given chances after chances knowing that things won’t change. Then I am on this self beating up when, I know that somethings are not my fault. Some things are not worht keeping or fightin for. Most of the time when I am going through a break-up or in my feelings I listen to Keyshia Cole.

You Aint Real ByCameron J(off Youtube) ~ This song has to be my shit. Many times when we are in relationships, where words are so comforting to the ear but not real to action. When you meet someone and smooth talk like its something you really want but come to find out you were just playing the part. If you can not be real about feelings or intentions then whats the point of being with someone. If you can’t do your part and always depending on the other person why waste time? Cameron just took all the words out of my head when He made this song. I kid you not.

Leaving Tonight By Ne-yo Ft. Jennifer Hudson~ When your are tired of being lied to by the one person that promised never to do so. When there is doubt, due to the way people act, or react when things are going on, or happening. When you’re officialy done working it out with the person, and they always trying to down play their wrong doings, and ready to just give it all up.

 

BeYouTiful Style :Hair

Every beautiful individual is blessed with his or her own style. This is something that makes you who you are wether it’s the way you wear your hair, the clothes you like, the men or women your attracted to . Style is you personal brand that sets you apart from other people, many of us have different level of styles as well. Let me give you some examples hopefully I will help someone out today 🤓!

  


 
When I was 13 , I discovered the world of hair manipulation, of course now I’m paying for it due to all the chemicals that have been in my hair. My hair style varies with my mood and my style of the season if that makes sense. I always wanted red hair . So back in 2012 I dyed my hair red and it was the most bad desicion because my hair is damaged from the bleaching but it was beautiful .  
 It did fade really fast and I had to re-dye it often which wasn’t good for my hair. My hair style also varies to wether I want it straight or curly. I have and still struggle with this dilemma if you will. I want to embrace my curls and have long healthy ones but my curls are hideous at times . My hair suffers from heat damage as well, cause there no month that I can go without straightening my hair which has messed up my curl pattern. I have been trying to make it healthy and all that.  

   
Back in 2015 I got my hair braided thinkin it would help and strengthen my hair and it did for the most part. It was a nice change for a few weeks. Loved these things.  

   

I’m not big on getting my nails done but when I do they aren’t all pink and bright . I have my girly days and I have my tomboy days. I always wear make up well eyeliner is a must but other girly things are not a everyday thing.  


 

I’ve dyed my hair so many colors some didn’t look right so there is no record of them or didn’t last longer then a few days . 💇🏽

BeYouTiful Love Yourself First

 Self-confidence has been my biggest overcoming achievement that I am still perfecting til this day. When I was little I used to be called ugly and picked on.I was never told that I was beautiful by my parents, at least not often. When I was in High school  when,I got my first boyfriend, and we broke up on christmas eve, he ended up going out with a the girl that was two years younger then me, since then it was like maybe I wasn’t pretty enough. I was never the “it”girl. I always did things to make people like me, never knowing if they were really my friends. When I got into the 8th-9th grade I got into this phase,where I would cut my wrist,and strave myself because I just felt really ugly and useless. My self-esteem was very low. My mom and I were nowhere as close as we are now,but it got to a point where my mom was going to give me to DHS because she did not want me anymore. I always thought that having  a boyfriend would give me joy,and happiness,little did I know that I had to find that inside myself. I have lost friends that I have given my last to, I have been made out to be a toxic and destructive person because I was trying to protect someone I cared about dearly . I have been bullied so much,that it made me feel like I was a pointless air of life. I ment a beautiful person,who understood that I wasn’t all the way together,but that with the right guidence and love I’d become a better person.

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  Self-confidence has always been my weakness,because I always placed others first, and when they got mad, I’d stress myself out because I wanted to keep them happy that I was loosing myself.  There will come a point where you will  have to choose Yourself  or unhappiness,and speaking from experince,when you choose others over you it never turns out good. I learned that the first time around. When things are not okay for you,God gives us warning signs,or you get those signs ..that make you realized that  there is Danger in the midst LISTEN!  I promise that it will save you tears and disappointment.  

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I have been doing very well with self love, I often get teased because I take tons of selfies. I am a very humble person, when people tell me I’m beautiful I tend to come off uneasy, I am so used to not hearing it that.. its does not phase me. I have been called ugly my entire life, and when someone did call me beautiful, it was for their own personal gain, just to get what they wanted and leave. I struggle with understanding why I have been single for so long, yes my ways of doing things does not always make sense to others, but my intentions are never bad.  I got into make up and hair to change the way I looked or to hide the real me. Often when you hear about make-up people say ” You can transfrom yourself into anyone you want to be with make-up and clothes”. I felt like make up made me look better, and a different person. I dyed my hair since I was 13, because I wanted people to like me so bad. I am now 25 and I’ve come to realize that life is too short to be something you are not. Love yourself first, because that is all you have in the end. If you want to dye your hair, do it for youself. Loose weight because you want to feel beauiful to do so, not because someone makes you feel ugly!  Love your outside as much as your inside.

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I hope that I uplifted someone who is reading this or if you know someon who is struggling with Self confidence please don’t hesitate them to my blog ! My goal is to empower and make new friends! Women need to be more kind to each other and not easily degrading each other.

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Follow me on all my social media sites… check under the Mxdbreed tab above for the links!

until next time

❤ Mxdbreed

 

BeYouTiful inside and Out

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   I have been doing alot of thinking about some of the things I will be talking about here on my blog, and lately I have been doing a lot of “planner “related things, and for the longest time my first serious addiction was Panties & Make-up! I miss those addiction lol.. I will be starting a new set of posts as well as planner related but as you see on the title of the post “BeYoutiful” basically sharing stories and taking you guys on my journey of self confidence, beauty and fashion, as well as brands that I love to use or reviews on new products.It is very important for women to uplift each other no matter what race you are, or religon your maintain. I believe in supporting those who feel like there is not another person going, or been through a particular situation. I am not a very popular blogger, for I just recently got into blogging this way, as well as vlogging. I do beleive that popularity is not very important if you touch or influence one than your doing your job here on earth.

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Make-Up

One of the most amazing and fun tins a girl could get into. It is safe, and allows you to be creative. You can transform yourself into a whole new person if you wanted to. So many amazing MUA (Make Up Artists) on YouTube and  Instagram.  I always used the basic make up, Eyeliner  since the age of 13. I had a big self confidence issue when I was younger. I just felt so ugly so I thought myself how to apply eyeliner, and it was my way of feeling beautiful to myself. Then a few years ago back in 2011, while I was browsing youtube I came across an amazing and inspiring woman who goes by  Charisma Star and just watching her tutorials and her inspirational reason why she does them is always uplifting.

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 I started my Ipsy subscription  because, of Charisma had mentioned it in one of her videos. I’ve been an Ipsy glambag Subscriber for 3 years now! It is a Monthly $10 subscription , its super worth the $10, especially if your just starting out with using make-up or wanting to start up your collection. Use the Referral link and start your subscription today

Referral Link: https://www.ipsy.com/new?refer=1fdi

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Fashion!

 The one thing that NO ONE can tell you is right or wrong! Your style is yours! It will constantly change throughout your journey of life. When I was in Elementary I loved the color PINK! now you will not see me in anything solid pink it has to have another color complementing it. I used to not like flip flops or shorts and now that I am getting more “girly” I am wearing them occasionally. I love seeing color combos, and what is new, I love shirts with hoods, because they just appeal to me. I love TIMBERLANDS or BROWN boots that favor them, its somethinf about them that truly just make me crave them!  Fashion can be a blessing and a curse as well, I say that because, what looks good on one person does not mean it will look fabulous on you or vice versa. I have to catch myself all the time in stores thinking a shirt is cute or a dress is cute but because I am built thicker and more curvy then others it does not always look appealing. All women go through it where you try to find that perfect piece of clothing and then we get bummed because it does not fit or it is not available in your size. That is okay! Self-Confidence is a KEY factor when it comes to shopping for clothes!

Please feel free to comment or send me a message! follow me on Instagram @mxdbreed_580 or Twitter @iTizzeybreed

Not New To It

It was something about his way he carried himself that got me intertwined in his webb that he spun from the jump. All I thought is Barry White has nothing on you, the voice of security and protection that you maintain had me all in.  Its a Gemini’s biggest weakness .. Alpha Male  with Dominant traits that makes things seem okay . Even though the feeling of you do not need anyone is a strong vibe that it given off 99.9% of the time. The caring and curiousity role had me thinking he was really down to earth and God-like, but even within that something mysterious about his stature made me uneasy. In a short time frame of knowing someone so real and upfront has its high and low points. Nothing real and worth having does not come without a severe strom, that you have to overcome first. In my time on earth, and being old enough to know what a relationship consists of, in his words “I’m not new to it i’m true to it” which is self explanatory. I find myself speaking like him, stiving every day to be a better individual not just because of him but as well because who I was yesterday was not all I strived to be. I never had a man make me weak in my knees where it was hard to think or speak. Times where his words are so cut throat, with no remose of how they escape from his lips. Conversations that actually give clarity to make our bond stronger which is something I treasure, never a disconnect between us. Deadly like Grim searching for souls to take captive to take to another world, where when they come back their not the same, but its a my curiousity like Persephone knowing that even in a pitch black room there is a reason to smile and see the light.