There has always been a special place in my heart for you, it’s a constant battle within myself because at times I want to just leave you alone, but I don’t want to give up on what we have built. The moment I met you, I knew that you ment to be mine, for more then just a season, you did not belong to me, for you were someone elses love, as well as I was. I never allowed the emotions or feelings I had for someone take control of how bad I wanted to have them. I then disappeared for a while and had to get somethings handled, in the midst of this absence another broke your heart and you built this wall out of broken lyrics to the love songs, and words of promises that were simple lies. We reconnected and instantly created a bond that was unbreakable. Everyday after that we become closer, in many ways that people would never know, What’s Understood doesn’t need to be discussed, are the words that formed from your charming lips , into my mind where I never imagined the power you had over it. Every song that plays reminds me of you, catching myself smiling at myself when your name pops up in my mind. Its been a tucked away thought to the public, because there more then just I in the running for your heart. Often find myself thinking that I have lost my mind, to ever think that we would ever be anything because I’ve expressed many of times how I felt about the vibrations that are between us, where it leaves you speechless to the thought. When you are away from my mind, or sight the feelings of strain takes over, then I tell myself I am letting you go from my grasp because you will never understand how dedicated I’ve been to your existence, theses thought run through my mind very often until you take it upon yourself to make all theses questions fade away. The reassurance of the I love you brings me back into your gripping clutch where I rather be then in a locked up tower of self destruction. Vitamins that bring me energy and life on long days passing make it easy to bare, until the next time. The way you make me feel is undescribable, yes at times I truly believe you are just around to use me for your personal gain, but again the reassurance of your constantly belief in my dreams make it hard to tell real from fairy tale. You may have never been pyshically infront of me but, the soul that leaps through your sight into my spirit is capturing in happiness and joy. Many tell me I just need to cut you off all together because you are going to break the rest of what I have left of a heart, but your mysterious charming way is hard to shake. I am more then proud of the guy you have become, after what another has done to your heart. I am blessed that you allowed me to prove that I deserve a spot there, the constant battle of getting the spot is the task at hand. Longing for your manly arms around my caramel tone skin has only be thoughts of my dreams when I slumber. A mix in my soul is ready for your scratches on the tables that only your fingers touch. As of right now, it is still a mixtape waiting for the mixer to add his touch on.
” I stay up all night loosing sleep over you, I drive myself crazy because I can not get over you”- Kehlani The way ft. Chance the Rapper