It was something about his way he carried himself that got me intertwined in his webb that he spun from the jump. All I thought is Barry White has nothing on you, the voice of security and protection that you maintain had me all in. Its a Gemini’s biggest weakness .. Alpha Male with Dominant traits that makes things seem okay . Even though the feeling of you do not need anyone is a strong vibe that it given off 99.9% of the time. The caring and curiousity role had me thinking he was really down to earth and God-like, but even within that something mysterious about his stature made me uneasy. In a short time frame of knowing someone so real and upfront has its high and low points. Nothing real and worth having does not come without a severe strom, that you have to overcome first. In my time on earth, and being old enough to know what a relationship consists of, in his words “I’m not new to it i’m true to it” which is self explanatory. I find myself speaking like him, stiving every day to be a better individual not just because of him but as well because who I was yesterday was not all I strived to be. I never had a man make me weak in my knees where it was hard to think or speak. Times where his words are so cut throat, with no remose of how they escape from his lips. Conversations that actually give clarity to make our bond stronger which is something I treasure, never a disconnect between us. Deadly like Grim searching for souls to take captive to take to another world, where when they come back their not the same, but its a my curiousity like Persephone knowing that even in a pitch black room there is a reason to smile and see the light.
There has always been a special place in my heart for you, it’s a constant battle within myself because at times I want to just leave you alone, but I don’t want to give up on what we have built. The moment I met you, I knew that you ment to be mine, for more then just a season, you did not belong to me, for you were someone elses love, as well as I was. I never allowed the emotions or feelings I had for someone take control of how bad I wanted to have them. I then disappeared for a while and had to get somethings handled, in the midst of this absence another broke your heart and you built this wall out of broken lyrics to the love songs, and words of promises that were simple lies. We reconnected and instantly created a bond that was unbreakable. Everyday after that we become closer, in many ways that people would never know, What’s Understood doesn’t need to be discussed, are the words that formed from your charming lips , into my mind where I never imagined the power you had over it. Every song that plays reminds me of you, catching myself smiling at myself when your name pops up in my mind. Its been a tucked away thought to the public, because there more then just I in the running for your heart. Often find myself thinking that I have lost my mind, to ever think that we would ever be anything because I’ve expressed many of times how I felt about the vibrations that are between us, where it leaves you speechless to the thought. When you are away from my mind, or sight the feelings of strain takes over, then I tell myself I am letting you go from my grasp because you will never understand how dedicated I’ve been to your existence, theses thought run through my mind very often until you take it upon yourself to make all theses questions fade away. The reassurance of the I love you brings me back into your gripping clutch where I rather be then in a locked up tower of self destruction. Vitamins that bring me energy and life on long days passing make it easy to bare, until the next time. The way you make me feel is undescribable, yes at times I truly believe you are just around to use me for your personal gain, but again the reassurance of your constantly belief in my dreams make it hard to tell real from fairy tale. You may have never been pyshically infront of me but, the soul that leaps through your sight into my spirit is capturing in happiness and joy. Many tell me I just need to cut you off all together because you are going to break the rest of what I have left of a heart, but your mysterious charming way is hard to shake. I am more then proud of the guy you have become, after what another has done to your heart. I am blessed that you allowed me to prove that I deserve a spot there, the constant battle of getting the spot is the task at hand. Longing for your manly arms around my caramel tone skin has only be thoughts of my dreams when I slumber. A mix in my soul is ready for your scratches on the tables that only your fingers touch. As of right now, it is still a mixtape waiting for the mixer to add his touch on.
” I stay up all night loosing sleep over you, I drive myself crazy because I can not get over you”- Kehlani The way ft. Chance the Rapper